Dailyish Thoughts #75

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I’m just going to go ahead and call this “Dailyish Thoughts” because man does life get crazy in a house! Over the summer when I had limited internet I really had to make an effort to get to service and post every day. Now that I have service all the time it’s a total switch, I really don’t spend any time on here.

It’s not really the internet availability though as much as it’s the fact that a house is much more to maintain than a trailer. The kids have exploded, there is now so much space to create messes in!

I’m also digging out from years of hoarding… still. The best part about being out of the mess for six months is you can come home and feel a strong urge to purge. I have not seen this stuff or touched it for six months. Why do I keep it? We have also accumulated a bit of new stuff, which needs a place to live. Out with the old, in with (less) new.

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Daily Thoughts #74

There are a million little annoyances in life. Some people are good at ignoring them and only see the big picture. Me? I see the little details, and sometimes those little details are the million steps to get some task done. And man do I get sidetracked. But at least I got some stuff taken care of that I might not have without distraction.

Retailers occasionally surprise you by actually taking care of your needs. I will trust but verify the promise that the brake caliper for the truck will be here by Tuesday or Wednesday. Prior experience puts it here next Wednesday or Thursday.

It is incredible how dirty a house gets being empty for six months. The dust fairies had a few parties here…

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Daily Thoughts #73

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I missed writing on an actual computer. There is no autocorrect or auto capitalization, so there is much backspacing, but the feel of clattering away on real keys is just so relaxing.

I hate to say it, but this city makes me happy. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’m not worried about driving across the country in two crusty automobiles. Or the friends we have already hung out with here. Or the fact that I feel like I can spread out a bit in a house. There are several possibilities, I suppose. But I’m feeling a bit better than I have for awhile.

Speaking of crusty rigs, the new brake caliper blew up. Thankfully it just lightly clamped the rotor and nothing catastrophic occurred. But now I get to call the super slow online parts place and beg for a refund. Good times.

 

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Daily Thoughts #72

Not on the road yet. We have wayyyy more stuff than I thought. And of course the truck has to start misbehaving.

But my confidence was lifted a little by an old man in the Walmart parking lot. We had just taken our wheel off because we suspected the caliper was stuck. It was not. He listened to the motor and gave a few suggestions about the odd noises and sensor issues. So tomorrow morning is electrical connector test day.

My body is rebelling. No amount of positive thinking or praying makes the gut sickness and chest tightness go away. The Anxiety Monster is a disrespectful jerk.

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Daily Thoughts #71

Down to the wire. I’m a procrastinator though. Meaning nothing will be done until I have two days left. Then it’s heartburn and joy…

Adrenaline is a jerk. I’m not sure I understand adrenaline junkies. Pretty sure they must lead boring lives or something. I just want a nap.

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Daily Thoughts #70

There are days when I genuinely don’t like myself. There are days when I feel like a failure, a loser, and a complete slacker. Today was one of those. I need to learn gratitude. I am supposed to be where I am. I am blessed to be who I am. I am blessed beyond comprehension. But I am ingrateful. I have never been able to distinguish the fine line between ambition and ingratitude. How is one able to be grateful for what they have but still be able to work and strive for more? How does one love themselves without becoming engrossed and consumed with narcissistic tendencies? I can’t hate myself, for when I hate myself I am incapable of loving others. How do people love themselves and others? How do people express thankfulness while striving for the next thing in life?

My wife pointed out to me that I have never legitimately failed at anything. I may not be as good as I’d like, I may not be as good as the next person, but I have never flat out failed. This is an interesting thing to ponder.

Sneak trip to Albuquerque tomorrow. Woot!

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Daily Thoughts #69

Living on a mountain with little internet and no TV is great. Apparently there are a bunch of things I should be up in arms about or worried about that actually have little to do with my everyday life. I’m glad I have enough actual things to worry about that I don’t have to take to the internet and whine and scream from the rooftops.

I could sit around all day watching artsy fartsy “films” and drinking wine. But my wife? Beer and action flicks. I like her.

Favorite quote from today’s artsy fartsy film: “Sans toi, les emotions d’aujourd’ hui me seraient que la peau morte des emotions d’autrefois.”

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