Diversions

Ooo, shiny!

We live in an insatiablely intolerable world at times. Life is a messy, dirty, steaming pile of excrement some days. There is no escaping the to-do lists and the schedules and the ever growing piles of bills. It almost makes me jealous of the people of old who lived short miserable lives. At least they were short…

I’ve never been able to drown out my worries with diversions. I hear of people escaping their troubles and woes with movies, music, video games, or even alcohol. Perhaps I’m just not a focused enough person to forget my cares and immerse myself in numbness or fantasy? I can only be so distracted before my mind wanders back to the struggle of the day.

Painting, writing, playing Pokémon GO with my kids and wife. I enjoy these. But none provide any forgetfulness. Stress is always right there making it hard to find forgiveness for not accomplishing everything on that to-do list. “Why are you taking a break when you should be doing this?!”

Will it ever change? Maybe. Maybe one day my cares will be few enough to drown out with frivolity, at least for fleeting moments. Until then I’ll just continue distracting myself half-heartedly.

Dailyish Thoughts #92

I have missed art. Running myself ragged everyday has left little time to sit still and focus on capturing an image with paint or pencil. Writing posts is nothing like sitting still for awhile and just focusing on an object and studying it’s lines and shapes and trying to interpret them onto paper.

We learned about driver fatigue today in bus training. I have spent so much of my recent life fatigued and I didn’t even realize it. Every symptom of fatigue they described was something I have felt on a daily basis for years. Long term fatigue is dangerous to physical and mental health. Sometimes you just have to shut down your life and take a nap. Don’t be afraid that life is going to pass you by while you sleep, it will be much easier to keep up with if you are rested.

So this weekend is a break for me, at least from the stress of trying to make money. I need to catch up on the house and yard work I have been avoiding.

Eek, there is so much!

Oh, and while I have your attention, please check out this GoFundMe from a Facebook acquaintance and consider giving:

https://www.gofundme.com/u7wjs-adoption-of-run-lin

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