Dailyish Thoughts #101

Well, plans change. And then change again. I go from worrying if I can afford to go “home” for Christmas to making plans while I am up there. I go from trying to take a nap to being told to come in and drive in half an hour. My 5:30 AM wake up is now a 3:30 wake up. Did I mention that I plan to travel all night after my work day tomorrow?

So here I am in bed at 7, one beer, one Tylenol PM and a warm shower lulling me off to sleep. Pray for me people, I have never driven in the dark before.

One more day, then a break. Hopefully I can get some stuff posted on here. Hang on for it, folks!

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Dailyish Thoughts #100

100. Yep. It’s been slow going, but I have arrived. I couldn’t make it 100 days straight (forgive me readers, it’s been ten days since my last post) but I have at least made 100 of these in total.

So what are today’s thoughts? Not a whole lot. Life has been work, work, and more work. With sleep and food stuffed in between. Is it worth it? I think so. I have seen some progress. I am now officially licensed to drive a school bus (watch out world!), but I am still without a route. So it’s monitoring the special needs bus and then doing a ton of deliveries for me. I’ll probably have to wait until after the Christmas break for a route.

I have been ruminating on some blog post thoughts lately. I know I mentioned this before in some post. It probably just looks like I am stalling, right? Well, maybe a little. Honestly I just haven’t had the time to sit and write, or even voice type. Perhaps this week or over the holidays I’ll get a few interesting posts put up. In fact, I might just go start a few right now…

Dailyish Thoughts #99

Almost 100 of these things…

Life is made up of experiences. There are some experiences I never thought I would have. Frequently those are the experiences that I realize everyone should have, but then I realize that not everyone can handle them.

Many people are silly and cruel and petty. They hide it well, but sometimes in unguarded moments you see them as they are. Other people hold up fervently, they are genuinely kind and decent people, outwardly, and never allow themselves unguarded moments. These people bottle up a lot and should probably let it out sometimes. You know who you are.

It’s always fun being the new guy fresh out of training. Watching different people do the job you have just been trained in gives deep perspective on just how much stress the job entails and how quickly people can wear out in it. Of course some are more resilient than others.But If But If But hkwb But all of them cut corners. All of them take risks and all have little bad habits that they will never unlearn. Of course, training is frequently impractical, what you are supposed to do is more often than not what you can do. Many rules are set out in training only to have many more exceptions laid out in practice.

My days are starting to run together. My thoughts are even less coherent than usual…

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Dailyish Thoughts #98

I’m not usually a fan of Christmas season. Too much chaos and noise and materialism. Not to mention the obnoxious darkness of winter. But I am trying. I miss my family “up north” something awful with all these ups and downs lately. The tree will be coming out tomorrow, I’m determined!

Today’s down and up was turning on the van only to have it rev up and down and idling at 15 mph. Then it would accelerate on its own. Good times. I managed to get it to the auto parts store for a code read and then home, in neutral most of the way! Thankfully I was able to clean the part and get it running again instead of buying a new one for $90. I can’t afford that! I am very grateful.

I get to start riding the bus as a monitor tomorrow. Not sure what that actually means, but I have to be there at 0600. Woo. It’s nice to get the extra hours and I need to get used to early mornings anyway, so I suppose I can say I’m happy about it.

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Dailyish Thoughts #97

It’s Friday night, which means I don’t have to get up and drive a big yellow monster tomorrow! Nah, it’s not bad. But it is nice to get a break and maybe focus on some other stuff.

I won’t lie and say life is great. It’s kinda crappy right now actually. Lots of busyness without much reward. But such is life right now.

There is no shortage of topics right now bouncing around in this brain of mine. Maybe at some point I will get a chance to put them all down. I have a few new money making things, a ton of cultural commentary, and maybe a few music critiques. It’s been sparse around here, but not in my brain!

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Dailyish Thoughts #96

“Dumpster fire” is a pretty useful phrase. There is not a better term for so much of what’s going on in the world around me. Not that my life is personally a dumpster fire, but the toxicity of the people I have associated with lately can only be described as such.

Dumpster fires have nasty smoke, spew sparks which light other stuff on fire, and stink to high heaven. The opinions and manners of the keyboard warriors I tangle with are also largely nasty, ignite passionate (and ignorant) debates, and…well… stink.

My gluttony for punishment prevents me from abandoning these people unfortunately. I do hope to channel some of my displeasure into intelligent and well thought out posts.

But for now my brain is simply a pinball machine of thoughts.

Thank you wife for listening to me try to sort out this pinball madness and clear up some of the emotional constipation it has caused.

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Dailyish Thoughts #95

Ever have a week where chaos settled into something calm? When all the puzzle pieces settled into the right spots? Yeah, me neither. Life is messy, y’all. There is so much undone, so much to do, so much I don’t even know needs doing. I’m going to take it all one step at a time. One day at a time. The chaos is not likely to settle in my lifetime, but at least I can learn to master it and make it work out for the duration.

One day at a time.

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