I was going to publish another “Making Money” post today, but it was taxing my brain just to get the words out. At this moment I don’t really care about it. Sure, I can be passionate about it. But right now, no. Right now I want to break the first rule of blogging and write something personal. I want to give you some report for how well I am doing on my new year’s resolutions.
I don’t want to write something trivial or trite. I don’t care much if I entertain you or inform you. I’m not going to lie or put up a facade and pretend I have all of life together. I’m not going to tell you how life suddenly got better when I gave my life to Jesus.
Life is hard, ya’ll. Life is ugly. Relationships are tough, you have days where you send your spouse out the door with a curse instead of a kiss. People break up. People break apart. People dump on you and demand from you. You get stretched thin enough they can see through you.
I said I was going to focus this year. It’s not even a month in and I find myself weekly cycling up and down. Mondays are great, Tuesdays slide a bit but I still come out upright, Wednesday is a hit or miss, by Thursday the kitchen is gone, Friday I let the kids have the house, Saturday I try to reclaim some ground, unsuccessfully. By Sunday everyone is a grumbling pile of anger and boredom, just ripe and ready for the complete upheaval of the routine known as church.
Now church is good, don’t misunderstand me. It’s just not a day of rest for a couple with five kids. There is no day of rest for anyone with children. I don’t believe they exist. While church is not a restful experience (as anyone who has had to haul two snarling children out by the arms at the same time can attest) it does spark hope and a desire to be better that week. It is the driving force behind the good Monday.
But how do we keep that driving force into Tuesday, Wednesday, and beyond? That’s what I want to know. I know many people who manage to stay driven all week. Is it just discipline? Maybe. Is it just a strong will? Maybe. Is it faith? Probably maybe. There is an innumerable amount of reasons people keep on going through all the nasty of life.
I am doing better. I am improving. I am more disciplined, more focused, and I am accomplishing things. It’s not all bad. It’s also only January. One can’t give up that quickly.
But how do I continue to improve? What does everyone out there do to keep that drive going?